The Dipshit

Robert W. Nordlander, IRS agent, is a somewhat homely runt. His life in grade school must have been one bullying incident after another; of course, he was the victim, and he probably wouldn’t have had it any other way. At least he gets to buy boys’ clothing sizes. Obviously, he just didn’t grow. I am not trying to be insensitive or politically incorrect here. I am just laying the groundwork for some of the many elements it took for a Dipshit like Nordlander to become a world class Asshole.

So Bobby grows up, so to speak, and becomes an IRS agent. He testified at Charlie Engle’s trial that he was home watching TV one evening when he saw some coverage of Charlie, an ultra-marathon runner, who had run across the Sahara Desert with two other runners. They ran a marathon a day for 111 days. Bobby testified that he couldn’t understand how a guy like Charlie could take the time to train and carry off such a challenge. He wondered why he wasn’t working 9 to 5 like everybody else. He launched a full blown tax investigation for that very reason, according to his own testimony. How is that for probable cause? Only a very sick IRS Asshole would launch a full blown investigation for such a non-reason. You can verify this by simply Googling Robert W. Nordlander/Charlie Engle.

So Nordlander, the Asshole, started a major tax investigation on Charlie. After God knows how many hours and how many dollars (at least in the millions), it was decided that there were no issues or problems with Charlie’s taxes. In the course of the investigation, it was discovered that Charlie had gotten involved with an unscrupulous lender who enticed him into taking out a stated income loan in order to buy property, that he in turn took an equity line loan on. Charlie was trying to raise money to make the run across the Sahara Desert. This was not a great business decision and he paid a huge price for it. It was not, however, a crime to do what he did. The Asshole Nordlander, and the Asshole Prosecutor, Joseph Kosky, and the Asshole Lightweight Judge, Jerome B. Friedman, decided to make it a crime to take those loans.

The lender had already pled guilty to bank fraud, for his role in dispensing loans that were based on phony numbers. This lender, John Hellman, Asshole and coward supreme, even admitted to forging his elderly parents’ names on a loan application, for which he took the money. Again, you might want to Google: Charlie Engle/JohnHellman. The Assholes were everywhere. The strange aspect to this whole ugly affair was that the IRS was prosecuting Charlie for an alleged crime that did not involve taxes. Only a genuine Asshole like Bobby Nordlander would go so aggressively after someone for using poor judgment.

We really don’t know if there is some personal reason that Nordlander pursued criminal charges against Charlie, after discovering that his tax records were clean. We have some suspicions, but nothing that we can prove. There was an obvious jealousy factor in play on Nordlander’s part. He was trying to prove something.

At some point during the investigation and prosecution of Charlie, Nordlander started running in the same area in Greensboro that Charlie had always trained in. I heard that he tried to join Charlie’s running club when Charlie was in prison, but was soundly rejected. I never verified that for fact. I do know he ran the same paths, because I followed him one day and personally saw him. Sadly, he was not much of a runner. He just didn’t have the equipment, physical, or mental.

Those stated income (or Liar’s Loans) loans are what primarily caused the mortgage crisis back in 2008-09. Lenders encouraged borrowers to take out these loans, which did not require the borrower to provide proof of income. They were encouraged to state a large income number with the assurance that no followup or verification would be performed; thus the term “stated income” loans. There were literally millions of those loans made and they wreaked havoc on the US economy.

Only because the government, using taxpayer money, bailed out the crooked banks (lenders) did the economy eventually survive. Of course, the banks who were bailed out went on to foreclose on those stated income loan borrowers, who in turn were not able to make the inflated payments, and then proceeded either to short sell, or lose the houses to foreclosure. Billions of dollars were made on the backs of the middle class, many of whom not only lost their homes, but also saw their tax dollars used to bail out the crooked banks.

The Assholes, Nordlander and Kosky, were never able to provide evidence that showed Charlie had misstated his income on a loan application. A government handwriting expert reported that Charlie had not initialed the loan applications and that the signatures were likely not his, i.e., they were forged. We believe they were forged by a business partner of John Hellman’s; an Asshole named Schmuff. I will leave Schmuff alone for now, since it is difficult to use his name without laughing. Suffice it to say that he was a player in this drama.

Frankly, the Jury was so challenged that there was no way they could understand the proceedings. And then there was the Asshole Judge who was so worried about the Ryder Cup golf tournament going on at the time that he rearranged the trial schedule to accommodate his need to watch TV.

So long story short, Charlie went to prison for 16 months for loan fraud; a federal camp in West-By-God-Virginia, the opioid capitol of the world. Considering the hillbilly location of this prison camp, the staff was understandably made up of Assholes and good guys, much like all prison staffs.

The day that Nordlander decided to arrest Charlie, he put together a crew of eight other IRS Assholes and they, with guns drawn, jumped Charlie in the parking lot of his apartment building. Nordlander, Dipshit cowboy that he was, could have just knocked on Charlie’s door, or even telephoned him and he would have driven downtown. But Bobby obviously had that need that so many enforcement Assholes have to demonstrate their ignorance and their unearned power at every opportunity.

A major part of this clusterfuck came about due to an undercover IRS agentress from Myrtle Beach, Ellen Burrows. Nordlander enlisted her to go to Charlie’s apartment and engage him in conversation. She knocked on his door one day and started a made-up real estate conversation. Charlie, who has never met a conversation about himself that he didn’t love, proceeded to go to lunch with this Asshole. He proceeded to tell her his life story, including how he had obtained a couple of stated income loans in order to help finance his record setting run across all 111 miles of the Sahara Desert. Miss Asshole IRS agent was recording the conversation, in which Charlie admitted that he had obtained a couple of “Liar’s Loans”, a synonym for Stated Income Loans. Note: Obtaining Liar’s Loans, or Stated Income Loans, was not a crime. First of all, Charlie’s loan application was filled out early in the year based on his projection of his earnings for that current year. He could have legally projected any amount, and it would not have been a crime. But remember, the government was unable to prove that he even filled out the loan applications himself.

This whole taped conversation by Burrows seemed to me to be a clearcut case of entrapment. There was no probable cause for an undercover, or a recorded meeting, unless you consider the Dipshit’s television watching “Probable Cause”. The court did not agree with me.

It ultimately did not matter that the Lender pled guilty to arranging for and manipulating borrowers like Charlie into taking these loans. People took these loans because they needed money for various reasons. As we know, real estate prices went through the roof, and it was just a matter of time before the homeowners could no longer afford their inflated house payments and they lost their homes.

Charlie lost a lot of money; some of it mine. We no longer talk about it. In fact, we no longer talk. Charlie and money, particularly mine, have never enjoyed a great working relationship.

Unfortunately, the trial was held in Norfolk, Virginia. The jury pool was made up of two groups of people; one group was smart enough to evade jury duty, and then there were the twelve people who were not. These people were not really Assholes. They were, unfortunately, more of a special needs group. I don’t believe any of them owned a house, or had ever had a mortgage. The exception might have been the Jury Foreman, a retired Navy guy who was in over his head. Nordlander lied on the stand. Kosky, the Prosecutor, lied. And the Judge drove the train.

It is very easy to Google Charlie Engle and read all about what justice administered by Assholes looks like.